A new trend has emerged where people are writing their own eulogy to help them recalibrate what they want out of life. Focusing on what they want to help shape their future and actively consider the life they want to be leading.
The pandemic has changed the way we think about life and death and what matters to us most. People are making huge, life changing decisions everywhere we turn from new jobs to new homes, partners, pets and the list goes on, and according to Marie Curie 54% of people have thought about their own mortality. Further research has found that 40%* of us have accelerated big life decisions such as moving house, getting married/divorced, starting a family/having more children or starting a business because of time spent with life ‘on hold’ in 2020. Planning the big picture helps minimise the wrong knee jerk decisions that can be made when ‘things just need to change”.
CPJ Field, the oldest Funeral Directors in the UK, has helped people write eulogies for their loved ones, as well as individuals writing their own. They have some beautiful pointers to help people use the trend to better their own lives and write from the heart.
Emily Hendin, Director at CPJ Field comments; “Think of it as tribute speech about yourself, your achievements, who you were, how you lived, loved and what you learned. Every life is unique so really think about how you want to be remembered, how you want to live and what you want to achieve. It should be an empowering experience, one where you leave the inner critic behind and really champion your strengths.”
How to write a eulogy to live your best life
- Start with a bit of brain storming. Keep notes as they come to your mind; record thoughts on your phone or write them down. Not all creativity comes the moment you sit at a desk. Sometimes it arises in the queue at supermarket or out walking the dog. Later you can bring all these ideas together as you construct your best life
- What you put into a eulogy is not prescribed. Every life is truly unique so focus on the periods of life which really matter to you, the periods of life you want to thrive in.
Here are some topics areas to help get you started.
o Family life
o Education
o Marriage
o Parenthood / Parenting
o Working life
o Hobbies, interests and talents
o Personality / Beliefs / Characteristics
3. Questions to ask yourself:
o What three words do you want to best describe you?
o List three things you love and three things you hate e.g. Food, drink, music, tv, radio, magazine, games
o What do you want your most admirable quality to be?
o What will be your lasting influence? What is it about that people will always hold close, never forget, hope to pass on to others?
CPJ Field also released research looking at the top 20 ways people would like to be remembered to provide further inspiration for eulogy writing and what the impact of living our best and happy lives can be.
- As a good friend
- As a kind person
- As trustworthy
- As someone who loved their family
- As someone who was genuine
- As someone who was always honest
- As a good parent/ grandparent
- As honourable
- As compassionate
- As someone who went the extra mile for people
- As someone who others loved to be around
- As a sympathetic listener
- As someone who made a difference
- Someone with a wicked sense of humour
- As a person who made the most of things
- As someone who had a passion in life
- As brave
- As someone who loved to travel
- As the life and soul of the party –
- As a colourful character
Francesca Oddie, a researcher, speaker and writer who has written her own eulogy to reset her life and focus on what really matters: “A few years ago I met a fascinating French lady at a networking event and after talking for twenty minutes or so she suggested I write my own eulogy as a more effective way to set goals and tune into what really matters to me. It was Scorpio season and as an astrologer it seemed like a fitting thing to do. Goal setting is amazing but all the possibility that lies ahead is laced with fantasy and includes the things we would like but might not need. Writing a eulogy gives us a crystal clear focus on what matters to us, it forces us to look deeply into our heart and see what’s really there. It’s something we should all do once in our lives and is both liberating and motivating in equal measure.”
*Source Barratt Homes and David Wilson Homes