Dad Jokes

Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you. That’s the punch line. My wife left me…

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7’s and 8’s. How do you make a tissue dance? You put…

How do nonbinary people hurt each other? They slash them. (They/them) I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me. What’s blue and not very heavy? Light…

Never date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them. What’s a lawyer’s favorite drink? Subpoena colada. What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K? HDMI. What do…

Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere. I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something. People in Athens rarely get up before sunrise.…